..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
