You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
