so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
