I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
