Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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