Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
