I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
