I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
