$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Shame - the story of my life.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
