Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I would ride that face into the sunset
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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