Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
