i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
