WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
