thus making me awesome and them whores
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
