You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
