You're my little dorito
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
