I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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