I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
