i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
