how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
