So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
