I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
