honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
