So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize