Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
