Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize