i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Still dying that you shit outside
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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