Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Your penis caused this!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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