If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
