Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
