And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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