I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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