fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
