i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
