honey bunches of taint.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize