Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
