You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
