Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
