You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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