"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
