Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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