Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
