What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I supernannyed him into submission
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
