dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
