If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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