i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
