I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This can only be settled by a dance off.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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