I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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