Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
