it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
