Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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