Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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