We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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