bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
