wanna go halves on a baby?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
