we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
