I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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