Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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