New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
