he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Enjoy the penises
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
