Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
