I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
