I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
