Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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