it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
