so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
