I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
