At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize