Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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